Deadness

"HIS ways are not our ways" I have often heard this said and I think it's from the Bible though I'm not sure where, but in the few weeks that have made up 2013 have certainly shown me how true it is. I began this year determined to "Rejoice" but the truth is, since then, I've spent little time rejoicing. We've had family issues, health issues, and simple spiritual dryness issues all of which have greatly challenged me The dryness is the worst; in fact I'd call it deadness rather than dryness. I've faced many challenges in my long life as we all do, but this is the worst spiritual challenge I've ever experienced. Mass leaves me cold and I find myself looking for excuses not to go, and even at our beloved Latin Mass last Sunday I thought "I don't think I'll bother coming all this way just for this Mass again"! I haven't said the rosary for days, I just can't find the time strangely enough. Yet I have not lost my faith in God at all, I just feel I can no longer be bothered. I said when I started this blog "In the shadow of His wings I sing for joy" well I'm still in the shadow of His wings, I know it, but the joy has gone. It must be His will for me at the moment...to walk faithfully without the joy. I must go through the motions even though I face inner resistance all the way. God is good.