The First Thing

I don't know where this thought came from but it leapt unbidden into my mind one morning. It's not an original thought, or in any way a new one, in fact St Paul said something similar 2000 years ago, but coming as it did it had a transforming effect on me and it has taken several days for me to digest and treasure it. It was this: When I die Jesus is not going to ask me how many rosaries I've said (and I love the rosary) or if I went to a Latin Mass or even if I was faithful to Church teaching: no, He's going to ask me how much I have loved. He's going to want to know how much I loved Him and how much I loved others. To change St Pauls words: if I have attended a Latin Mass every Sunday and said a hundred rosaries a week it means nothing if I haven't loved. Praise God, deep prayerful thought assured me that I said my rosary and went to the Latin Mass BECAUSE I loved Him so much, but loving MUST come first. Please God I'll never forget this lesson.

Gentle Woman

I love this prayer and pray it often: Gentle Woman, quiet light, Morning star, so strong and bright. Gentle Mother, peaceful dove, teach us wisdom, teach us love.

Loving the Latin Mass.

I went to our beloved Latin Mass today and was musing on the way home how much it has grown since it first started around 18 months ago. In the beginning we often feared we wouldn't reach double figures and on one occasion when Fr.Tom was away on retreat the Bishop stood in for him and the congregation was only 10! The Bishop, who was no fan of the Latin Mass and had only allowed it under pressure, remarked acidly "I can't see why we're doing this". Maybe it was because he wouldn't allow it to be advertised in any way. Now, we get around 30 people and often more and it's a very close and welcoming community. The Mass is said in a small chapel about 20k outside the city, and, oddly enough, most of the congregation are not from the city, in fact there only about 6 of us who are. Most are from small country towns and many drive well over an hour, sometimes two, to get there. Apart from the beauty and holiness of the Latin Mass, and the dignity and devotion of the congregation during Mass, it's inspiring and fulfilling to mix with such loving and dedicated people, I love it. God is good!

Freedom

It was many years ago when I first found the poem "When I am old I shall wear purple..." I loved it and have always kept a copy. Well now I AM old and I don't wear purple and I don't spit but I certainly realise that growing old does give me a great freedom from caring too much about what people other people think. I really don't worry any more about people thinking I'm a 'religious nut' or that I'm heavier than I used to be. I can go my 30 minutes walk a day free from that nagging feeling that I should do more - I even feel blessed and thankful that I CAN do it when so many people of my age can't. I am blessedly free of the necessity of planning the future; I can live in the present and Alex and I happily reminisce together about the past and don't feel guilty about it. People advise "Don't live in the past, look to the future." We haven't much future on earth and we have a lot of past and enjoy visiting it. We DO have a future for sure and hopefully it'll be glorious and blessed, so why shouldn't I 'wear purple' metaphorically speaking of course.

Be always with Christ.

I love the maxim "Be always with Christ". To be always with Him...to live only for Him: to die to myself, to my wishes, desires and feelings wanting only Him and His desires for me. It means staying close to Him throughout the day, to pray at regular times yes,and especially at the beginning of the day, but also to pray to him continuously, never having ME time unless He is included. It's hard and sacrificial but also sweet, tender and joyful. I haven't arrived there yet, but I keep practising...with Him.

Mary's role.

During this month of Mary as I pray the rosary I love to meditate on The blessed Mother's role in Jesus' life. Today I was saying the luminous mysteries and apart from the Marriage Feast it is harder to bring her in than in the other mysteries. But I imagine. I'm mediating on the Baptism of The Lord by John the Baptist. We don't know that Mary was there so I imagine a neighbour rushing in and telling her the news and Mary nodding slowly: she knew it was going to happen but she didn't know when. "So" I can see her saying quietly to herself "It begins." She must have known it would lead to suffering for Him ...and her. She must have prayed for Him and for those who would follow Him. "Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us..."

What do you do?

What do you do when travel to Mass through heavy traffic and discover the priest has cancelled the Mass and locked up the Church AGAIN? What do you do when the same priest says casually at the end of Mass two days later that he's cancelling Mass tomorrow? What do you do when you get the distinct impression that your Priest considers daily Mass-goers a nuisance? What do you do when you go to Mass at another Church and the whole congregation is laughing and talking so loudly before Mass and totally ignoring the Blessed Sacrament that you are driven out almost in tears? In the words of an old Protestant song I "Give it all to Jesus" and redouble my prayers for Priests.