Birthdays

A confession to make. This weekend my youngest grandchild turns 9 and my youngest child turns 40! They're all growing older and I wish they wouldn't! My solace is they are both such wonderful people. Recently my granddaughter told me she wished she could win the lottery (although none of us ever buy tickets) so she could "give some food to poor children in Africa'! And my youngest child has, after a very unsettled life, met a wonderful man who she loves very much and who loves her. She is so happy I am consoled that she is turning 40! I admit that THEY are not worried about their increasing ages, only I am in my heart of hearts. Where is my faith and peace in God? I still have it I just forget sometimes!

The Forerunner

Another of my favourite Feasts today: The Nativity of John the Baptist. I think the story of his birth is one of the first Bible Stories I ever heard and I was really intrigued by it. I love the name the Orthodox (I think) Church gives him: The Forerunner. The name makes me think of someone running ahead of The King, carrying a flaming torch and preparing the people for His coming. May I always be prepared for His coming! St John the Baptist pray for us.

St Thomas More

June 22 is the Feast Day of St Thomas More and St John Fisher. They mean a lot to me as I am English born and lived there for the first half of my life but also because I obtained my first teaching post at St John Fisher school and for 30 years was a member of St Thomas More's Church. So we celebrated yesterday. We had wine with our special dinner and after dinner we watched "A Man for all Seasons " which is a wonderful 1966 movie about the final years and execution of Thomas More. What a wise, brave, modest, witty man he was. I love this prayer he wrote: "Lord Give us a mind that is humble, quiet and peaceable. patient and charitable, and a touch of your Holy Spirit in all our thoughts, words and deeds. O lord give us a lively faith, a firm hope a fervent charity, a love of you. Take from us all lukewarmedness in meditation and all dullness in prayer. Give us fervour and delight in thinking of you, your grace, and your tender compassion towards us. Give us good Lord, the grace to work for what we pray for".

When joy goes.

For the past week or so I have not been well and it's been surprisingly hard to 'sing for joy'. Although the illness was not in any way painful or life-threatening I was astonished at how little I wanted to pray, in fact for a couple of days I didn't pray apart for a few "arrow' prayers. The joy, that is always somewhere deep in my heart even when I'm sad or worried, seemed to have just gone. Yet as I've begun to recover and get back my joy and prayer rhythm I thank God for that temporary emptiness. When I thought I was walking alone with empty hands and heart, I know it was His strong hand holding mine that kept me safe on the path so I could pick up again where I left off. In a strange way it was a very precious time. Thank you Beloved Lord.

For Our Mother.

Whan I was a little girl (centuries ago!) I had a beloved book called 'Mary was five.' Mary was a little girl, only a little younger than me, and every day she would go into the garden and pick a small bouquet of flowers to put in a special vase her mother kept by her chair. I really longed to do the same for MY Mother but I was living in the back streets of an industrial town at the time and there were NO flowers to be picked. We only had tiny gardens and most of ours was taken up with an airaid shelter. And as food was very scarce, any spare inches of soil left was devoted to a straggle of vegetables. How I envied Mary. On my window sill over my sink I now have a small statue of our Blessed Mother and every morning I go into the garden and choose one tiny flower to put in a minute vase I have by the statue. Like Mary, every morning I pick a flower for my Mother. A longing fulfilled.

A Taste of Heaven?

This morning as we were saying the rosary before the Latin Mass began it was announced that Father would hear confessions. It is the first time in my life that I have been able to go to Confession BEFORE Mass and it was such a joyful experience. To go to Mass and receive Communion knowing that you truly are in a state of grace is such a blessing. From Rosary to Confession to Mass ... what a taste of heaven.